Posts Tagged ‘stuff’

Finally, a fresh title to sink my teeth into. I am speaking of Dishonored of course, a game that I finally had a chance to clear in the past month or so. I had been waiting for Dishonored for a long time, and basically bought it when it first came out and managed to play it while I was in my dorm room in Urbino. Unfortunately though, while I was Italy, I discovered that it was the game that pushed my laptop over the edge and would make it overheat. So I finally managed to sink my teeth into it when I got back and managed to get a cooling mat for it. After the first couple chapters I put the game down, as I do with many of my games, and switched to a different one to see how that one suited my fancy for a while. However, in the past month, I made a pact with myself to clear all of my games that I have that I never really cleared (at least the ones with clear endings). So now I only keep five games on my laptop at any time, four games that I dive into, and one for casual play. Thus, Dishonored was reinstalled, and completed finally. WARNING: SPOILERS.

First off, I would like to comment on the beautiful environment that was created in this new world. The city of Dunwall came to life with the distinct architecture though out the entire city, the citizens that had motives, character, depth, and the way that The Outsider spoke to me. The world is huge, allowing you to take multiple paths to the same goal, making it so if I couldn’t sneak past a guard and into the lighthouse, I could scale another building and blink between roofs, and hide in dumpsters to get there. Now, I ran a “no kill” run for my first play through for a few reasons: one, my friend who had seen the game seemed skeptical of an assassin game that could be cleared without killing a soul, two, I wanted the challenge of being the city’s crusader, and three, I read some of the repercussions of killing people and decided to leave that to my “kill everyone” play through.

Going through the game, I noticed that the atmosphere stayed relatively constant: you have a person to murder or not, and you are wanted for killing the empress so you’ll be killed on site. Things were dark and grimy, just the way you’d expect a city in downfall would be. The game doesn’t get too dark though, you never have to murder your sainted mother or anything, for the most part, you are just killing people who are either A, evil or B, part of the evil machine. The environment does all of the work, and a couple of characters add to it, like Granny Rags and The Outsider.

The mechanics work like a dream, never really breaking stride in the game, allowing you to seamlessly blink across a roof, possess a rat, sneak into the building, hit a guard with a sleep dart, steal a safe code, and make it out through the fourth floor window. However, that sequence happened about the six time that I tried the mission. I give the game points for definitely being challenging when trying not to kill people. However, now that I have tried playing by killing everyone that I see, I have found the game much easier to get through. Now, that same sequence goes more like this: kill the front guard, take his key, kill the guard guarding the safe code, and walk out like a boss.

I’ve also started to experience the difference in high and low chaos now that I have started my “kill everyone” run. Playing the first assassination mission showed more rat swarms to start off with, which I know is just the beginning of the mayhem that is going to ensue. Overall, I give the game a high rating, and I’m waiting for the Knife of Dunwall DLC(s) that will be coming out (though depending on price, I may not get them, we will see).

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

Sunday evening I started unfriending people I don’t talk to or never have talked to, and also started looking into my travel plans for the Thanksgiving break. While going through my friends list and pruning I came to realize so many things about people, one of which was that anyone who was in theatre was just fucked up afterwards.

Dawn of the whatever day, 40 days remain. That’s right, I only have a bit more than a month left in Europe before I make it back to the states and start my next chapter. Though we must now continue to analyze Europe and all of its effects on me and how I relate that back to western society. Our first history and theory class with just Daryl was today, and we looked at an author who was neither an architect nor a scholar, and thus was an annoying pompous ass in all of our opinions. Once we managed to get through the discussion and Daryl pissing me off about roman numerals (he wouldn’t let me see the damn numbers long enough to read it and said mean things to us for not knowing them [I was the only fucking person who could get the damn thing!]) we made it to lunch and then on to measuring the site for our exhibition project. While we were measuring the site it began to rain, but Daryl just pulled out his umbrella and watched us freeze to get the ruddy dimensions. Afterwards I managed to grab a cappuccino with him and discuss part of the future Rome trip. Once we made it back to the studio we all got together to discuss our form diagrams that we were working on and get a sort of grasp on what we were trying to accomplish for our project. After we made it through class we all went to dinner and then I spent the next 6 hours talking to Tori, and finally going back to my room at 1am.

I found some extra blankets last night to keep me warm because it has become near freezing here (not kidding, last night was 37°F) and in a room that has spiders and cracks between windows, walls, and doors, you kind of need them. So I finally rolled out of bed and got dressed in time to make it to my watercolor class where we sketched and rendered the library below our studio. The process was alright, and of course my render didn’t turn out quite the way I wanted it to, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve produced while being here. I’m started to feel a bit alienated from the rest of the people, and I think it’s because I’ve been having some fairly intense moods recently. Cecilia is still an annoying bitch, Sofia’s views confuse me, Britta is a quiet neutral party, Dane is always nice, Brent is more of a sarcastic ass than usual, Justin is quiet as always, Camelo is less talkative and social than he was before, Matt still has an annoying personality, and I keep having extreme moods that persist for the entire day. I am either antisocial and get annoyed and mad at everything everyone does, or I’m light of heart, but quiet, or I’m apathetic to everything around me. And then while I was applying shadow to my drawings I came to the thought that my father is getting older and may not be around to see the man I become and the accomplishments that he would be proud of. I guess I’m just starting to doubt everything that I’m doing and if I can actually get it done for it to matter the most to me. Pair that with the constant cigarette smoke clawing at my will power and we have a great cocktail at the moment for me.

Midway through the week and my mood is still like a yo-yo at the moment. I’ve been stuck with my designs for the exhibition space we are supposed to design for the city, so I’ve been going crazy. Besides that I’ve been trying to not be as mean, but failing at that, and talking to a few people online.

Thursday was mainly a work day, except for the fact that we all went out and drank in the city. This made me confirm the fact that I am not a party person and going out on the town is definitely not for me. After I went back early I posted on Facebook that I did not enjoy my time out, and this then sprung Cecilia taking it upon herself to “correct” it and make sure the future people who come don’t get the wrong impression. This mostly boiled down to her saying I’m not fun and am boring. Well she needs to mind her own fucking business and quick harping on my personality and mood at the moment or else she’ll finally hear all the shit that I keep back out of courtesy.

Today was mainly sleeping in and doing a bit of studio work, but we also managed to go to the cemetery to do some much needed sketching and relaxing during our studio time slot. Other than that, I think my anger is getting away from me, I’m going to need to find some kind of physical outlet or things might not go well for the rest of the time that I’m here.

Today was the day of the hike that everyone else took, so I was able to stay at the studio and get some much needed “me” time. I got some good design work done and now I have the overall concept statement for my project: The Floating Room. I think it’s going to turn out really well if I can manage to get the floor plans to work out. I’ve also been talking to another girl, and she seems really cool. We like a lot of the same things and she doesn’t give me stupid three word responses. It’s actually really brightened up my mood, which is good for the rest of the studio as well, that way I’m much less of a dick. Besides that I just kind of relaxed and ate oreos for most of the day.

Continued conversations with Sarah today, things seem to be going really well. I really like talking to her, she has something to say about all of the stuff we talk about, making it much easier to keep the conversation going. I’ve also had a long day or working on my project; I am starting to fix some of the problems with the design, but I don’t know what all I’m going to show the architects tomorrow for my critique. Things seem to be getting more focused as we start getting closer to the end of the semester, and it’s beginning to make posting harder because I have less to think about or talk about because I’m getting tunnel vision for my project.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

The week starts off well with my history theory class going smoothly with little discussion and more of a lecture instead. Once we finished that we went on to starting our studio project for our classical courtyards, which we were all really worried about because none of us really know how to use the orders properly, so most of the rest of the day was spent working on that. On the way back to the dorms that night I was talking to Sofia and told her that I was planning on get drunk on the 21st. She asked why and I told her it would have been my anniversary then, and she told me that whatever thoughts I have I should write down to just kind of get them out of me. We’ll see if that actually happens or not though.

Today was an early morning for me since we had to go into town to meet up for our watercolor class. I went out early and grabbed some breakfast in town with a cappuccino and then sat down to start sketching one of the buildings in the main piazza. Though every couple minutes, more and more delivery trucks would park in the way, obscuring the bottom portion at first, which was alright, I could still work on the upper part. That was until a truck parked a foot in front of me and blocked the entire thing so I couldn’t sketch the thing at all from where I was. After a while I just moved and then gave up and waited for everyone to show up so we could head out to the mausoleum. Once we got to the mausoleum we did three hours of watercolors before we finally headed back into town for a quick lunch and then head back to the studio for our first Italian lesson. The lesson dragged on, and I don’t particularly like non-formal teaching for this kind of subject, it doesn’t stick very well. After that though, some of the people went to the travel agent to buy tickets for our trip to Venice next weekend that we are all apparently taking. I knew they were planning a trip, but I didn’t know if I was included because I usually work while listening to music, so I don’t hear most of their discussions. It was nice that they included me though, because I do want to go and do things. The night again descended into working on our courtyard projects before I called it a night at midnight here (first one to go to bed, I think that night) and headed back to relax and indulge my internet needs.

Not much happening stress wise so far this week, I’ve kept up with all of the readings that I’m supposed to be doing and I’ve been productive with my studio project. So I was kind of able to slowly work on my project and still finish early compared to everyone else right now. Though now John comes in and tells us we need to layout our shadow lines, but that only makes things more difficult for me because of the weird geometry of my building and the fictional sunlight. We are using a fake angle for the sun so we can cast interesting shadows, but most of my project will be in shadow save for the columns themselves.. We have our first official field trip starting tomorrow to the Veneto to study some architecture there for most of the weekend. I still need to figure out what media I’m going to use though, do I want to use my consistent felt pens or my new toy, the fountain pen? I’ve also been thinking about romance and relationships more recently, not so much my previous one, but future ones and the past of other ones instead. For the future ones I kind of muse over the ideas of an Italian fling, or a French relationship, but I don’t have much hope for those. And I just kind of fall back to thinking about my actions in the past to other people who cared about me and how that kind of burned the bridges with them. I don’t need those people in my life, but I would like to have some in my life at least a little bit, because they were good company and good conversation most of the time.

Early morning for all of us today, we had to get to the meeting spot for our trip to the Veneto so we could all catch the bus. Our first stop in the region was Verona, which was just one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. We started our tours of the city starting with the Arena which is beautiful just to see how much of it is left to see. After that we saw a few churches and then made it into a school building which had some wonderful frescos in it, though the tour was really long because they had some school official lead us through the entire school, which wasn’t architecturally relevant. The city was so alive during the day and then when we got the night to ourselves we were able to find a couple bars and gelaterias where we spent some time. The gelato place we went to had some really good stuff and a cute girl who worked there had an interesting tattoo on her hand of a musical score. After gelato we all sat around a bar and had a few drinks and talked about all of the things we had seen, but as the night progressed we started to just be more stupid and drunk (I was the first, but not the worst). The girls went off by themselves so we sent Matt with them to watch over them so they wouldn’t get raped or do anything too stupid, while the rest of us walked around the town. I had a pretty deep conversation with Camelo and the others about life and relationships and how I was dealing with things and how he had dealt with things and what he went through. It was all really good, also helped that we finished our deep conversation while lying on the banks of the river looking up at the stars. After that we all headed back to the hotel for the night, but Matt came back after a while and informed us that the girls had even more to drink after we all left, which I thought was just stupid. I knew I was already pretty drunk and they go and choose to drink more? Stupid.

The next morning we had our trip to the Castelvecchio by Carlo Scarpa where we would spend about two hours observing, sketching, and photographing. Before we went off to the Castelvecchio though, I got to see how drunk the girls had gotten the night before by seeing their reactions to the morning sun, which was one of the best things of the day for me. The Castelvecchio was just an amazing place, and even with those two hours to sketch and photograph, it was not enough to fully take in the amount of thought that went into the building. The number of lines and levels that you will experience in just the front entrance is astounding to try and grasp. It is hard to put it all into words about the experiences that you go through in the spaces that Scarpa creates, but the best one that I can think of is to explain how he placed an image of Christ. Scarpa also designed the placement of all of the pieces in the building, so that the building would create an even greater experience for those pieces of art. Scarpa placed a sculpture of the crucifixion of Christ so that when the sun was first out in the morning, it cast light right across his face, bathing the religious figure in pure light. It was breath taking. After we finished at the Castelvecchio we went on to Vicenza where we again explored the city, but when we got there we couldn’t go into the Teatro Olimpico like we had planned so we instead started our tours early and explored the city. On the bus ride over to Vicenza I started to rethink how I thought about my life and where I was in my life, I always would say that I was already 20 years old and I haven’t done much with my life yet. Now though I’m starting to think more in the realm that I am only 20 years old, and that I have so much to look forward to in my life and this is just the tip of the iceberg for me. While we were in Vicenza we had some free time so we all managed to do some shopping; I was able to pick up a new shirt and a scarf while we were there. Afterwards we all had a nice dinner and then explored the town a bit more before we all went to sleep for the evening.

We started our next and final day of our field trip by going to Palladio’s Villa La Rotonda to sketch and document the building. The building is actually quite simple in respect to the geometry that was used to create it and even for the detail work that was used on it. I was able to manage a few sections and plans of the building to help me figure out the different proportions that he used. Afterwards we went back to Urbino and all worked on our summaries that we had due Monday.

Sunday I finished my summaries, but ended up going to sleep for the rest of the day to catch up on some of my sleep after the long trip. Wasn’t a very productive day, save for the summaries, but it was a nice and restful one.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

By the time this post is posted I will be in Italy, but not only that, I will have been there for a day already. If you hadn’t noticed it yet, all of the posts were posted two days after they actually happened. This post is mainly to explain my final feelings before actually leaving the country. With this journey ahead of me, I will be taking the role of The Exile so that I may better understand not only architecture, but the world as a whole. The person separated from everything and can see things from an unbiased point of view.

The journey will take me from the shell that I am now, to the full being I will become at journey’s end. I will explore myself as an individual in a new world, myself with respect to other people, other people in respect to me, and to explore everything else that comes to mind. I will be making new friends while I am abroad and creating new bonds. Hopefully through everything that I will experience I will grow to be the person I want and need to be for the future, because I think I’m going back to karma, fate, and maybe a little luck for what happens to me.

To everyone who has been with me through all of this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you will stay by me because I have a feeling the future has a few twists and turns left for me.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

My dad and I went out and bought me a suitcase for my trip because we found out that the other one I was going to take was broken. So we hit the luggage and leather store and picked me up a good sized suit case.

After that I watched TV for a while and avoided packing for Italy. I’m really excited for it all, but I’m also really nervous about it as well. I’m excited for all of the new experiences, and people, and projects, and sights, and sounds and just so much more. But I’m also so nervous about everything I will be doing, will it be good enough, will I piss people off, will I survive, will I make new friends, will I further other relations? I’m worried about my trip to France at the end. That part really scares me because I’ll be by myself for the whole thing, which again makes me scared and have to look at my being alone issues.

Finally managed to start packing and figuring out what all is going where though which was good. My room is a mess again because of this though. I wonder if I’ll ever have a clean room for longer than two days.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

So I’m writing this post part way through the day and not at night or during the next day because of what happened to me this morning. She texted me saying that I could pick up my mother’s serger and that it would be by the front door. So I got dressed and pick it up, only to set off the house alarm and have her brother wake up and turn it off. Had an awkward encounter with him, that I kept as brief as possible. I also left my key to her place there. I don’t really need it anymore with how things are. There are a lot of things that I don’t need anymore.

So I needed to get this out and just try to calm myself down from all of my mixed feelings. I’m still angry about everything in my life at the moment, and I’m pretty sure I know what can fix it. Meeting Miss Perfect right now. I need to meet the person who will get my mind off of everything and make me feel the way that I want to feel and how I feel I deserve to feel. Of course that probably won’t happen, and even if it does it probably won’t happen for many many years after all of this, at which point my scars will be too deep to heal over maybe. I don’t, I’m just starting to rant at this point.

Everything is set for when I go to San Antonio tomorrow though, all of my appointments with friends and everything.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

So today the important things that happened to me were kind of mixed, I got a text from her brother asking when I leave. I guess she’s just waiting till I’m gone so she can give my mother back her stuff, if not then she’s in deep shit because that’s my mother’s stuff. Still makes me kind of angry that she can’t be decent enough to just give my mother back her stuff until I leave. But whatever, I leave in a few days so none this will matter.

So with that happening, I decided to take a jog and clear my head some before getting ready for the rest of my night. It was a good jog; only three miles, but it helped me get out all of my thoughts that I had for the past few days and the new ones that sprang up today. It helped me clear things up with myself and what I was doing with my life and why I was doing everything.

I am doing things for myself, and no one else. I will study abroad and have an amazing time. I will get my bachelor’s degree and go to grad school. I will intern during grad school and hopefully have a job by the time I finish. After that I’ll become a fully licensed architect after that and begin working on my actual career. During all of this I will travel across the country so I can experience all that there is here. After that I’m going to travel the world to broaden things even further and do all of the amazing things out there. And somewhere in the mess of all of this, I’m going to get married to the right girl for me and have a family. All of this will be for me, and only me. I won’t do these things because of someone or something. I will only share my journey if someone will accompany me, but I won’t do any of this just because of them. If they are the right person, they get their own set of things that I would do. While finishing that sentence I feel like I want to add an emoticon to the end of it to help drive home the point, but I’m trying to keep this blog fairly classy so just picture a happy after that sentence.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the plot for a story that sounds kind of clichéd, but very interesting, and very me. It’s about a secret military project to create the perfect wetboy. Of course I picture myself as the main character, so if I ever get around to writing it you’ll get a glimpse into who I am.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect