Posts Tagged ‘cycle’

Finally, a fresh title to sink my teeth into. I am speaking of Dishonored of course, a game that I finally had a chance to clear in the past month or so. I had been waiting for Dishonored for a long time, and basically bought it when it first came out and managed to play it while I was in my dorm room in Urbino. Unfortunately though, while I was Italy, I discovered that it was the game that pushed my laptop over the edge and would make it overheat. So I finally managed to sink my teeth into it when I got back and managed to get a cooling mat for it. After the first couple chapters I put the game down, as I do with many of my games, and switched to a different one to see how that one suited my fancy for a while. However, in the past month, I made a pact with myself to clear all of my games that I have that I never really cleared (at least the ones with clear endings). So now I only keep five games on my laptop at any time, four games that I dive into, and one for casual play. Thus, Dishonored was reinstalled, and completed finally. WARNING: SPOILERS.

First off, I would like to comment on the beautiful environment that was created in this new world. The city of Dunwall came to life with the distinct architecture though out the entire city, the citizens that had motives, character, depth, and the way that The Outsider spoke to me. The world is huge, allowing you to take multiple paths to the same goal, making it so if I couldn’t sneak past a guard and into the lighthouse, I could scale another building and blink between roofs, and hide in dumpsters to get there. Now, I ran a “no kill” run for my first play through for a few reasons: one, my friend who had seen the game seemed skeptical of an assassin game that could be cleared without killing a soul, two, I wanted the challenge of being the city’s crusader, and three, I read some of the repercussions of killing people and decided to leave that to my “kill everyone” play through.

Going through the game, I noticed that the atmosphere stayed relatively constant: you have a person to murder or not, and you are wanted for killing the empress so you’ll be killed on site. Things were dark and grimy, just the way you’d expect a city in downfall would be. The game doesn’t get too dark though, you never have to murder your sainted mother or anything, for the most part, you are just killing people who are either A, evil or B, part of the evil machine. The environment does all of the work, and a couple of characters add to it, like Granny Rags and The Outsider.

The mechanics work like a dream, never really breaking stride in the game, allowing you to seamlessly blink across a roof, possess a rat, sneak into the building, hit a guard with a sleep dart, steal a safe code, and make it out through the fourth floor window. However, that sequence happened about the six time that I tried the mission. I give the game points for definitely being challenging when trying not to kill people. However, now that I have tried playing by killing everyone that I see, I have found the game much easier to get through. Now, that same sequence goes more like this: kill the front guard, take his key, kill the guard guarding the safe code, and walk out like a boss.

I’ve also started to experience the difference in high and low chaos now that I have started my “kill everyone” run. Playing the first assassination mission showed more rat swarms to start off with, which I know is just the beginning of the mayhem that is going to ensue. Overall, I give the game a high rating, and I’m waiting for the Knife of Dunwall DLC(s) that will be coming out (though depending on price, I may not get them, we will see).

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

Advertisements

I began my second to last week in Italy today by sleeping in and just taking the day off for the most part. When I finally get out of bed, I play XCOM for a while, trying to really improve my tactic skills. Over the course of the day, I started to get the urge to form a paintball team that would focus on tactical infiltrations and extractions. Where everyone would be in constant communication with each other through the use of a headset system or something. I feel like the whole thing would be a great way to blow off steam and improve our minds with the use of strategies. We could make a whole ordeal of the thing, turning it into a monthly occurrence where everyone gets together and performs their roles. I think it would be a great, albeit expensive, time and tradition to create. Besides that, I managed to talk to Maggie before she headed off to do her scavenger hunt again; we mainly talked about travel for the brief moment she was online, but it was still nice. I managed to read through the history and theory readings for Monday, only to find that the first one was really weird with how it phrased and displayed the “anti-city”. Darryl also told me that while I’m in Rome again, that I have to get tickets online for the exhibit that I want to see, so that was nice that he was looking out for me. I had to cancel my Thanksgiving plans to travel to Viena so I could have more time to work on my project and be able to render it. I’m hoping while I’m in town that I’ll be able to make those purchases I’ve been putting off, like getting my bowler hat and a hoodie or something with “Italia” on it, and a poster of Raphael’s mistress that they have here in the city. I’ve been feeling like I want to get in some boxing or punching bag time when I get back to the states, really just let everything out right now. Of course, that also plays into my fantasy of finding of girl that likes to fight and ultimately turns fighting together into foreplay, but of course that is merely a fantasy. Not my best one, but one none the less. I am also remembering why I exiled myself and the goals that I wanted to accomplish while exiled in Italy, and, fortunately, I have accomplished many of the goals I set out to. Worked through the recent problems I had in the states, my own addictions, my introversion that I have, stopped biting my nails, eating healthy, and making lasting friendships with people. It’s been an amazing time and I’m excited for when I get back to San Antonio and can tell the rest of my friends there about everything that I did here.

Rise and shine, it’s time to endure another history and theory lecture. They aren’t that bad, but they just don’t resonate that much with me at the moment; they don’t have much material that I particularly agree with. Also, Cecilia brought her boyfriend by the studio after class, so that was fun to watch (not). I’m trying to get better, but having that around is really counterproductive for me because it just reminds me of my codependency issues and the fact that I am currently alone. Then, during studio, I got the green light to continue with my project in more detail and figure out how the actual structure for the whole thing will actually work. After a bit of work in section, which I think look really cool, I have more or less figured out the logistics of how it all works. The rest of the night seems to be descending into beer, movies, and hopefully some actual design work, or at least some reading for history and theory. Though, it will probably just turn into me playing some more XCOM and trying to really get a hold of the strategy involved in it. On a more internal level, things are going iffy at the moment. I’m kind of lonely and have been for a while. This is partly because I have chosen not to participate in group TV watching, and because I have been trying to talk to some of my online friends more. Problems with that are that I am looking for a romantic relationship, and using the internet box doesn’t really convey that well. Now, while writing this, I can feel my anger building, and I’m not enjoying it. I’m starting to really consider taking up boxing now, or at least having the chance to punch something. I just want my life back.

Tuesday, we went out to the main piazza to meet everyone, and get the Italians mad at me again because I still don’t know enough Italian to really make a difference. We went and sketched some statues that they had plaster molds of in one of their historical offices or something. It was kind of weird. Especially when the photographer came in and started taking photos of us while we worked on our renders in the room. I did mine in “sephia” ink, even though it was just burnt senia. The day went well though, I managed to get a kebab before heading back to the studio to continue working on my project for the semester. It is turning out pretty interesting. Besides that, not much else happened besides my usual conversations with people. Though it does seem that most of my friends from Houston don’t take initiative to go and talk to me, so that’s really comforting, but hopefully that will change when I get back to the states.

Wednesday was our last history and theory class for the semester, thank God. It was very lack luster because most of us were really tired of the material and we were all really tired from working most of the night for our final pin-up. I feel like every time we have a “last pin-up” that it isn’t really the last pin-up. Afterward we had our pin-up/desk crit thing where Darryl basically told us how our structures really needed to function and be drawn. Though, it was annoying when Britta spoke; I think mainly because she has becoming increasing annoying to me, plus the fact she thinks she’s a know-it-all. Other than that, the rest of the day went well and I managed to get some rest in.

Thanksgiving was kind of fun because I didn’t have to do anything that day so I was able to sleep in until noon, at which point the guys knocked on my door and invited me to lunch. The day continued on with only a few things of interest coming up. While at dinner with everyone we discussed Eugenia constantly saying that if we stay here that she’s sorry we’ll be missing turkey and the food that normally comes with Thanksgiving. We also discussed that the girls would be completely screwed when they got back to work on their projects because we have at least 12 drawings, each on has to be drafted and rendered. Four of those drawings have been done for the most part, but still, that leaves the rest of the drawings for them to do over two and a half days. They aren’t going to make it. I continued talking to some of my friends online and got drunk on vodka (partly by accident) and eventually just passed out on the couch in the studio. I was kind of surprised because for a while before I passed out, I thought I was going to throw up at some point.

Friday was very lack luster, I slept in again, missed lunch, and basically spent the entire day working on my project. There is so much to do in these next few days that it’s pretty ridiculous, that we have started to take bets on if anyone will finish early or not.

Saturday, work.

Sunday, work. Also, the girls made it back and are conversing about their trips instead of buckling down and getting to work. I think it’ll be funny when Wednesday comes around and they are all running around franticly trying to finish their projects while the rest of us run around at a much slower speed. Also, hopefully Sarah will get her postcard soon. I can definitely tell that I am starting to get nervous; I’m starting to nibble my nails now, not bite them, but definitely getting close to it. I’m trying to keep it back and manage my time wisely.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

It has begun, my journey has started. It began when I first started with the plane rides with my professor over to Rome where we met up with the rest of the students. When we first got there we had to wait for another plane to come in with them on it, so John (my professor, he asked us to call him John) and I went and had a cappuccino at the bar (bars are different here). It was the most glorious thing I have ever tasted, the milk was steamed properly, and the coffee was just beautiful. They really do have a totally different culture here when it comes to coffee, I have been experiencing it every day since I got here. After a while the plane came in and we all grouped together to get our train ticket to go to the bus depot where we would then catch the four hour bus to Urbino. During the trip I told the story of my relationship to Cecilia and we had a nice conversation about what laid before everyone and how it was going to help and change us all. Once we made it to Urbino, we went to the university where we got dinner and our dorm rooms. The room is alright, it has the essentials: bed, desk, chair, shower, and toilet. We all ended up in the studio after everything so we could all use the internet and contact our loved ones and family. Well part way through Camelo plugged something in wrong and basically blew up the internet. I’m not kidding, there was a loud pop when he plugged it in and it just killed the whole socket he tried and the internet, all in one go. So after that we all started to fade and drift off back to our rooms to sleep for the night.

The next day consisted of a lot of tours around the actual city of Urbino, guided by John and Eugenia (one of the providers) and her husband Mirko. This introduced us to the hill we would be going up and down most of the time we wanted to do anything in town. It is a steep, slick hill that does not lend itself to high heels, and gets really annoying after the first billion times you have to go up it. We looked at the art store in town first so we would know where we could get supplies and stuff for our classes to come. They took us around the city to see what all there was to do and what the city had to offer us. For lunch they took us out to a local restaurant where they served wine and pasta and just so many amazing dishes for us to enjoy while we talked amongst ourselves. After dinner we continued touring the city and finding out so much about it and seeing all of the different amazing buildings that the Duke was a part of. Once we finished our tours and everything, we were left to our own devices. We ended up having gelato in the main piazza, which is just beautiful might I add. The day ended with us having dinner together in the cafeteria and going to the studio to once again mess with the internet. It’s interesting to see how much we all depend on it, and it is a little depressing that we depend on it so much now.

The next day we went on more tours (we were starting to get tired of tours at this point, and because our feet hurt so much) of the city except with a woman who may be giving us Italian lessons later on so that we can better understand and talk to people. We took a break in one of the bars to have a cappuccino, though I had an espresso to help keep me going. There was a woman working in the bar who wanted to practice her English and basically told us about when people go out in the city, which is Thursday here, and how they would love to see us there again.

Well we actually went out on Friday because we had been too tired the previous day. This was my first time actually going out and drinking socially with friends, and to go out with drinking at all with people, so it was an interesting experience. We started off at the bar in which we encountered the woman who told us about going out during the week. I started with a nice glass of scotch, but after that we had what they told us was “Tequila Boom Boom”. This was basically just a bit of a mix of tequila with something else to lessen the strength. It was also my first time doing tequila shots, but it went well for the most part. Once we finished up at that bar went looking around for another and ended up in one that was just across the piazza. I tried to order a scotch and soda, but they just couldn’t get and I couldn’t help them, so I caved and just got a gin and tonic. After a bit I started to loosen up and talk more to people about things that I was thinking and feeling. I ended up telling Sofia that I wouldn’t mind getting to know Britta more, but that I figured I didn’t have a chance for two reasons: one being that she was twenty-seven, and two being because she was vibing up another guy in the group. Once the night was basically over we started to head back to the dorms, but on the way there I just instantly sobered up and became really self-conscious about everything I had said and done while out with everyone. So I hung back for a bit and then just walked at the end of the group not saying much until we reached the dorms.

Now we come to the weekend! John took us to Pesaro and basically just stuck around long enough to show us the beach and how to get on the train if we needed to or wanted to so we could travel. After that he helped us figure out hotels so we could get that taken care of before we went off to the beach. So once John parted ways with us we all grabbed a bite to each at a local café, this time it was a café, though it did seem pretty close to a bar. We had an amazing meal there of some sort of penino or something, which had uncooked ham, cheese, and tomatoes on it. Afterwards we walked along the beach until we found the free section of it and set up camp for the day and play in the water. It was so beautiful there and so much fun. The water was perfect, the sand felt amazing, and everyone was having a blast. There were parts, though, where I just kind of sat and thought about life and where I was going and where I had been. I was a lot quieter than I had been the previous night because I was still self-conscious about it all. I decided to stay the night with a few people that were staying, which was an alright choice. The next day we went shopping in the market they set up each weekend in towns to sell things. Here markets are different, they sell EVERYTHING, from socks, to vacuums, to cars. We wandered around while a couple of people went to the beach. We ended up not getting much of anything, though I did get the most amazing donut thing ever created by human beings, it had a lemon taste to it and was covered in sugar. It was so delicious. After a while Sofia, Cecilia and I headed back to the bus depot to grab a bus back to Urbino so we could relax, have lunch, and start on our homework for the first day of class (which confuses me, but whatever). The end day descended into my usual indulgences, a warm shower, and dinner with everyone in the cafeteria. I finished up my summary homework right after dinner, and rewarded myself with some well-deserved internet time.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

By the time this post is posted I will be in Italy, but not only that, I will have been there for a day already. If you hadn’t noticed it yet, all of the posts were posted two days after they actually happened. This post is mainly to explain my final feelings before actually leaving the country. With this journey ahead of me, I will be taking the role of The Exile so that I may better understand not only architecture, but the world as a whole. The person separated from everything and can see things from an unbiased point of view.

The journey will take me from the shell that I am now, to the full being I will become at journey’s end. I will explore myself as an individual in a new world, myself with respect to other people, other people in respect to me, and to explore everything else that comes to mind. I will be making new friends while I am abroad and creating new bonds. Hopefully through everything that I will experience I will grow to be the person I want and need to be for the future, because I think I’m going back to karma, fate, and maybe a little luck for what happens to me.

To everyone who has been with me through all of this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you will stay by me because I have a feeling the future has a few twists and turns left for me.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Exile

So today the important things that happened to me were kind of mixed, I got a text from her brother asking when I leave. I guess she’s just waiting till I’m gone so she can give my mother back her stuff, if not then she’s in deep shit because that’s my mother’s stuff. Still makes me kind of angry that she can’t be decent enough to just give my mother back her stuff until I leave. But whatever, I leave in a few days so none this will matter.

So with that happening, I decided to take a jog and clear my head some before getting ready for the rest of my night. It was a good jog; only three miles, but it helped me get out all of my thoughts that I had for the past few days and the new ones that sprang up today. It helped me clear things up with myself and what I was doing with my life and why I was doing everything.

I am doing things for myself, and no one else. I will study abroad and have an amazing time. I will get my bachelor’s degree and go to grad school. I will intern during grad school and hopefully have a job by the time I finish. After that I’ll become a fully licensed architect after that and begin working on my actual career. During all of this I will travel across the country so I can experience all that there is here. After that I’m going to travel the world to broaden things even further and do all of the amazing things out there. And somewhere in the mess of all of this, I’m going to get married to the right girl for me and have a family. All of this will be for me, and only me. I won’t do these things because of someone or something. I will only share my journey if someone will accompany me, but I won’t do any of this just because of them. If they are the right person, they get their own set of things that I would do. While finishing that sentence I feel like I want to add an emoticon to the end of it to help drive home the point, but I’m trying to keep this blog fairly classy so just picture a happy after that sentence.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the plot for a story that sounds kind of clichéd, but very interesting, and very me. It’s about a secret military project to create the perfect wetboy. Of course I picture myself as the main character, so if I ever get around to writing it you’ll get a glimpse into who I am.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

So I woke up and did my usual for the day. My dad went to the doctor, so while he was out he picked up the cleaning and my meds, so now I’ll be taking the right meds and be looking sharp whenever I go out.

I hung out with the gang for most of the day. We started with lunch at Chili’s which was pretty good. Afterwards we broke up for a while, then all went to Jake’s house to play Mario Party and Magic and stuff. Once we ran through a couple games of Mario Party we went on to have dinner at Whataburger where we discussed video games and other current events. And to close out the night we went to Josh’s house to play Killing Floor, though we never won while we were there. Still a great time though.

After finishing up and helping Josh clean up his room, I went back home and talked to my dad a bit. After talking to him, I decided I would have a rum and coke to cap off the night, but when I took out the bottle of rum there was less than I thought there should be. My dad just told me that’s why I puked so much, and that if he had seen how much I had had then he would have cut me off at some point. So with that thought, I figured I would just have a soda and call it a night.

While writing this though, I find myself in higher spirits than usual. I’m not sure if it is because I actually am in a better mood or if it’s because I’m listening to a bunch of Owl City music. I have been listening to Good Time which makes me want to go camping some time, though that probably won’t be for a long time. Also listened to Fireflies which makes me want to go up north again and just watch them fly around. I think my mood is better because I’m thinking about things that I want to do again, not for other people, but for me. To cap off this post, I think I will just state that I haven’t made my appointment with my shrink yet, even though I need to.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect

Started back up working out again today, so I took my meds and did my curls. My morning was fairly uneventful, it was Sunday so I couldn’t do much, and when I finally got to the point where I wanted to do something, it was too late to.

Most of the day descended into Top Gear, fried rice, and Tumblr. Not the most productive day I’ve had, but at least I didn’t spend most of it in bed. I did manage to get my guitars out and tune them so I could practice a little bit to get my mind off things before I went for my jog, at which point my mind would only be on things.

So the jog. This time I seemed to get stuck on where I had been a couple weeks ago, and where I was now. I was picking out house pets, wedding cakes, and figuring out future states to live in for grad school and stuff. I think that is probably one of the most painful things about all that has happened to me recently, the fact that I thought I was somewhere with someone, and then, in an instant, I was somewhere completely different with no one. She said she’d been thinking about this since December, so for seven months I was lied to. Lied to about where we were, what we were doing, and now I’m not even sure if there were feelings on her end.

I’m not saying that she never had feelings for me, just during those seven months I wonder how she actually saw me. What went through her head when I was around, what was on her mind when I wasn’t? Heh, it was kind of sad to let my mind linger on these thoughts, it only hurt more and more as I thought about it all. At this point in my jog, I was by the local lake in the park, but at a point I usually don’t notice. Except this time, it’s a clear night, and on clear nights such as this one, when the moon is shining so brightly, you can actually see the reflection of the moon on the surface. The shimmer of it all on the lake, mesmerizing with its beauty. It took me by such a surprise that it hypnotized me, making me stand by the edge of the water for a while.

Snapping out of my trance, I continued on, thinking of how new eyes see old things differently. On the tail end of my jog, I got back to thinking, as I always do, and came back to how I think of myself. Always the villain, always the bad guy, always in black, never in white. Why did I always ally myself with evil? Besides having the cooler Jedi force powers and costumes, evil and darkness never win. But I guess that is kind of the punch line of my life right there. I finished my jog wondering if I could ever be the good guy.

The rest of my night went on to laundry, dinner, and more Tumblr. I didn’t read. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to delude myself, didn’t want to live in an imagined world. I needed to spend time in reality again.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect