40 Days: Body and Mind – Day 34

Posted: August 30, 2012 in Life, School, Thought Provoking
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I slept fairly well in my hotel last night. I started off my day with a shower and got ready for my lunch with Erin, the big lunch. We hit a place called Coulver’s which is some northerner thing that wasn’t that bad. We spent about two and a half hours there talking about everything that was going on with us. The first thing we hit was my relationship and what happened with that, which she had some words on, but not much because there really isn’t too much to go on. We then hit our mutual frustrations with the university and all of the things they do that just really annoys us. She always has some weird class issue going on because she transferred here, and mine are always about study abroad forms either not being filled out (which they are), or being filled out incorrectly (which isn’t my fault because there are no examples). So we continued to talk about all of the things we were going to be doing and all of our current situations. One thing we also hit, which I never want to hit with her again is religion. Now I normally never talk about religion with people because I just do not enjoy the conversation because I’ve had bad experiences with people on it. And I don’t want to talk with her about it again because I disagree heavily with one of the aspects that she said she believes. I respect her view and know where she is coming from with it, but there is no way I could believe in something like that, it just ruins any kind of hope I would have in the world.

So after lunch I went to the university for my appointment with my shrink, but I thought it was at 2pm, but it was actually at 3pm. Since I had an hour to kill, I went to the campus bookstore looking for headphones, only to come up dry. I went to the computer store right by there and picked up some cheap ones and a pair of Skullcandy around ear headphones, which I really shouldn’t have, but I’m a sucker for them.

So I finally make it to my shrink (Hi shrink!) and begin going through all of the stuff that happened to me since I last saw him. I just did a monologue of all of the things, ranging from my relationship, to some burned bridges, to my friends, and to how I felt about myself. We mainly talked about everything that happened with my relationship and how I felt about it all. It was all pretty helpful, I was kind of glad to finally get his point of view and help because I was tired of all of my friends repetitive responses. So by the end I was feeling much better about myself and where I was in life, though I’m still not where I want to be, but I have a different view on what I’m going to be doing. One thing that I’m going to really try to do is just be more about to things, because we had discussed how I felt about relationships and the fact that I don’t want to just date casually because part of my end goal is wife, kids, and happiness. The being open doesn’t just apply to my dating life now, it applies to all of the things around me. I think I’ve become more social to an extent. I’m asking my friends if they want to hang out more, actively seeking out conversations with some of them and whatnot.

Afterwards, I was fairly exhausted because I had forgotten to take my meds that day, which I’m not that fond of. The idea that if I don’t take my meds I can barely make it through the day is not appealing to me, unlike what I was taking before where if I missed a day it wasn’t that bad. The positive effects of my new meds are better, but I don’t like that one negative there. Oh well. I took a nap and then went to see the new Bourne movie with Tony, which was good. And that basically finished off my day. I think it was a pretty good day.

Whatever the risk, still onward.

-The Architect


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